Apple Computers... What can I say? I've been an Apple guy since the mid 80's. I have never even owned a PC. I'm an avid Apple enthusiast, and even a shareholder. About a year ago, I had the best idea for an iPhone app of all time... I had already released two trivia game apps (Mardo's Music Trivia & Mardo's Fashion Trivia) to moderate success. I noticed at the time that a lot of "Sexy" apps appeared to very popular and were apparently seeing a lot of download activity. Apps like "Bikini Blast", "iGirl", and "iStrip Bikini Pen" were getting tons of attention.
I thought, why not do a trivia game that has videos of girls that come on and do a strip show once you answer enough questions correctly. The higher the score, the more clothes come off. I mean, a trivia game is fun enough on its own, but now add attractive women taking their clothes off and you have a winning combination right? It was a no brainer... So I thought.
April 20th, 2009: So I set out out to build it. I hired a freelance programmer in Eastern Europe and got busy putting together the functionality specs and designing all of the screens and graphic elements. I also had to get the girls, so I reached out to a photographer friend of mine in Hollywood who could organize some "models" and put together a video shoot in his studio. I even scored my own soundtrack for the game using my electronic drum set and GarageBand. I was really committed to making this a great app.
July 20th, 2009: Four months, seven grand, and a TON of my own time later, I finally had a fully functioning and tested app ready to be submitted to the App Store, but it took another two weeks of trying to get the apps' provisioning profile and dev certificates figured out (WTF Apple??).
August 4th, 2009: I finally clicked the submit button in iTunes Connect to submit the app for approval. It wouldn't be long now until the cash started to roll in! I figured if I could generate $100 or $200 dollars a day, it would be a good start.
August 30th, 2009: I hadn't heard anything back from Apple for 26 days. Finally, I got an email stating that the app submission was rejected due to inappropriate keywords in the app description like "Sex", "Strippers", Strip Videos", and "Naked Pics". You know, the typical smut app key words. So I cleaned that stuff out immediately and re-submitted the app. I was getting close... So I thought.
September 15th, 2009: After another painful two weeks of silence, I received yet another rejection notice from Apple citing the exact same reasons as before. I was confused because I had already taken that stuff out. But then I also got phone call from someone at Apple iPhone Developer Program who left a voicemail asking to call back regarding my app submission. I called back right away but (of course) only got the person's voicemail. I didn't hear back again so, after another day, I called again and left yet another message. This "Call every other day" exercise went on for about a week and a half until finally I called right at 8:30 in the morning figuring I could maybe get the guy right as he was arriving to work. I was right, he answered the phone after one ring. I talked to the guy from the Apple iPhone Developer Program who shall remain nameless (which is probably fitting since he came off like he had the personality of a piece of cardboard. He informed me that the app was rejected because of some keyword and other discrepancies within the app description for the UK Region. The UK region? I didn't know I had set anything up for the UK region? I took a closer look and saw that there was a separate description page for the UK App Store, so I fixed that too and immediately resubmitted the app for approval.
September 16th, 2009: The next day I received another notice from Apple stating: "Your application, Sexy Trivia, is requiring unexpected additional time for review. We apologize for the delay, and will update you with further status as soon as we are able. Thank you for your patience." I was starting to lose all hope of ever getting the app approved. In the meantime, the App Store had just surpassed 100,000 apps. The space was getting crowded.
October 26th, 2009: Another notice from iPhone Developer Program. Rejected. For the same reason as before. "inappropriate 'Keywords' used to identify your application in the English UK localization." This was getting ridiculous.
November 18th, 2009: After another month of hearing nothing about the status of the app, out of nowhere, I got a phone call from the same "Robo-Dude" from Apple who informed that "there was a problem with "an API call within the app". I calmly asked him which API (even though I didn't even know what an API was). I do now. This one was outside of my own skill set, so I called in a favor with the programmer who built the app and asked him to fix it. He was able to get to it after a week and then, I resubmitted the app one more time. That was my last attempt, I was over it at this point.
January 3rd, 2010: On a quiet Sunday morning just as I was starting to feel normal again after some heavy New Years celebrations, I received an email from iTunes Connect stating that "Your application is now ready for sale". Oh the joy! What a way to kick off the new year! I couldn't wait to watch the money start rolling in...
February 22, 2010: I came across an article online talking about how Apple had decided to remove over 5,000 apps from the App Store that contained "Objectionable Content" (i.e., men & women in bikinis, no skin, no sexual connotations or innuendo, etc. ). I couldn't believe it. It took me almost six months to get through Apple's retarded approval process, and now my app was probably going to get pulled after being up for barely a month due to "Explicit" content.
April 25th, 2010: To date the Sexy Trivia app is still available in the App Store. It has sold about 180 copies, yielding me about $125.00 after Apple takes it cut. Woo Hoo! It is currently selling about 1 per day which is disappointing to say the least. But I maintain hope. It is a fun app and it is well worth the 99 cents it costs to download it. Give it a try, you won't be disappointed.
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/sexy-trivia/id326309818?mt=8
I have no idea why my app was spared. It is definitely as racy as the other "Explicit" apps. Maybe someone at Apple was looking out for me because I had gone through such a hard time getting it approved? That is doubtful though. Maybe it was just overlooked? There are still a few sexy apps left in the App Store. I'm not sure what exact criteria was used to pull the 5,000 or so of the other apps. Perhaps someone at Apple will read this blog and realize they missed one and come back to finish me off.
Well, I better get back to work on my new updated version of Sexy Trivia for iPad... Not !!
